Thursday, January 31, 2013

Highs / Lows

Anybody have highs and lows over the same situation again and again?
Is this just a girl thing? Is this stereotypical girl indecisiveness?
Is it satanic distraction?
Is it just that some decisions are so monumentally life changing we don't know if it is a high or a low?

Bless.

This is where I find myself. Too much.
You can find my highs on Instagram or Twitter.
The lows can be found in one of two places: on this blog (cause I'm committed to being real) or in my silence (cause I just can't even put it into words).

Been separated from my people for right at 11 months now. Been settling in with new people for about 4. Some days that 7 month gap is an inescapable canyon. With a pendulum that swings over the width of the canyon as often as daily.
One day I can be completely settled in to our new little life, sure that God is working on us and through us. He is blessing us with people who love him and who love on us.

I am building a gaggle of 20-somethings that I am looking forward to hosting on Super Bowl Sunday. (It's a Not-Necessarily-a-Super-Bowl-Party. Be jealous.) We are already sharing some life experiences and praying together and there is some relationship building taking place. So Sunday, I plan on luring them in to unabashed love with us through Buffalo Chicken Dip.

We are plugging in to stuff. The Sisters are competing in Bees (Geography and Spelling) and making a good showing, playing tennis, soccer, volleyball, we are plugged in to our homeschool co-op (I'm teaching Bootcamp) and my word, church.
Our church is full of Lovelies. We are making friends and have a little teaching gig right now, so that's grand. We are sitting under fantastic teaching & preaching, so that is priceless. One new homeschool momma friend I made hasn't accepted my invite yet, but tells me she is impressed by how excited I am about my church.  I'll take that as a win that just hasn't happened yet.

See? It's happening. We're doing the thing.

Then...
The next day, or maybe the same day, I am in pain over missing my people. They are going through their own highs and lows and I want to be there with them! Since March 2012, we have gone back to Florida for a funeral and two weddings and missed three funerals. We have missed trips, Christmas, birthdays, breakfasts, complaints about teachers & fellow students, Bible study lightbulb moments, and a lot of barbecue!

We even missed this last night:
video
I have no words for that fantasticness! 
I love me some college students and these are two of my favorites on the planet!

I have a good friend who right this very second is coveting prayers for her precious 7 year old daughter and trusting Jesus in the most real way a momma can. I'm sick about not being there. Sick.

I mean ugly cry sick. I had a low.
I got a smidge on the bitter side. It went a little like this: I mean, Lord, you said to Go and make disciples! Well guess what? I was making disciples right there in Plant City! I'm not being prideful, but I'm just sayin'! For real. We were teaching and sharing our home and our stuff all Acts-style!

OK, maybe it sounded exactly like that.

Through a study, I'm reading through Paul's 1st letter to the Thessalonian Church right now and I'm telling you, I could have wrote his words! Now, I haven't suffered like Paul, for sure. I do feel his heartache, though. He loved those people. He lived life with them, discipled them and left them. Boom. Listen, there are things that we jack up in this house fairly regularly, but we know how to invest in people. I know how to share in my people's burdens. I call it holy-codependency-without-the-manipulation-part, catchy right?

But, Jesus.
Jesus is King.
He left his people, too.

<Insert pendulum swing here.>

So, this can happen several times a week for me as we transition in to making a home here, complete with new people.

What are your highs and lows?
Job?
Major?
School choice?
Living situation?
Family life?

Here's what I'm choosing. I'm going to be present. Even in my ugly, I'm going to do it here. Jesus was fully present where ever he was walking and I will be, too. I'm going all in: sweet tea, piles of laundry, homeschool shenanigans, messy pantry, unsolicited Spouseisms, a little hilarity and Jesus.

I'm going to stop second-guessing our decision and go with it. It's not that hard to please God. I keep wondering if we did the right thing and you know? With all that we are doing we are loving him so I know he is pleased.

I'm in.
Here.

 As for me, I will always have hope, 
and I will praise you more and more. Psalm 71:14

It's a matter of staying out of my own head and giving Jesus the mic. Anybody?
What truth does he tell you when you give him the mic?

Thursday, January 24, 2013

2013 Goal Update

January 24th! What?!
I knew it had been too long (according to me) since I had blogged, but I didn't realize that I had not even posted an official blog in the year of 2013!

Gracious. My excuses are these:

  • I've been focused on my 2013 Goals! Well, most of them. 
  • We've been participating in a homeschool co-op called Friday School. 
  • We had a most wonderful weekend with one of our first children, Jarrett, who is all grown up. He came to visit from Florida. 
  • Then he left. So, naturally I was sad for a few days. I don't know if the airport drop-off will ever get easier. 
  • Spouse had the flu. I didn't, but I was lazy with him.

Jarrett & me.
Family pic.
Two grown men. On a tandem bike. People gawked.
Uncle Jarrett and his girls.
I've got more excuses, I'm sure. So, it's 24 solid days into the January that I went straight up crazy and posted some goals for myself and my fam. Brilliant.

Here's how we're doing:

~~Twelve 5k's. I'm participating in 5k's for the next two Saturdays.  I'm pretty pumped to just get it started. I've run a few days over the last week or so. I was a bit bluesy for a couple of weeks, which matched our weather. Rainy and ridiculously cold.
I did this.

We are all working on our fitness.

~~Psalm 139. The girls and I are diligently reciting our Psalm 139 Scripture each day with one another. I'll type what I can from memory; you'll just have to trust me. :)
You have searched me, Lord, and you know me. 
You know when I sit and when I rise, you perceive my thoughts from afar. 
You discern my going out and my lying down, you are familiar with all of my ways. 
Before a word is on my tongue, you, Lord, know it completely. 

I don't know how many verses that is, 4, I think.

Maddy & I drove over to the offices of Living Proof Ministries to pick up our very own, very cute 2013 Siesta Scripture Memory Spirals. My girls are doing their memory work as "Little Siestas". 
~~Scheduled school days. This is a biggie. We are doing it. And, it's good. The girls seem to be doing better, too. I hate to admit it, being as I have that emotional allergy to schedules and all. Here's the deal, it's good in that at the end of the week I'm not a basket case beating myself up over all that we didn't get to. I'm keeping better records. I feel accomplished and my little girls do, too. All the reasons I don't love it are selfish. There are some classes at the gym that I've had to forego because it's during school time. For those of you that have been scheduled forever or have a for-pay job are laughing at me right now, and go ahead. I can take it. Bottom line: we are doing it and it is working well.

La Clase de Espanol. :)
~~ Handwritten Notes. I've sent out several. More than one a week. Once I get out my cutesy little pens and the address book, I just feel like writing a few.

~~ Social Networking Hiatus. Let me extend an absolute appreciation for my sweet readers that have seen me on Twitter and Pinterest. You haven't called me out in shame. I deactivated my Facebook on January 1. I sat there for a solid hour debating it. Spouse has never fussed about my Facebooking, and in fact, has encouraged me in it. He has seen the positive reach that it has. It truly has been a positive thing for the most part. The negatives are, of course, the time sucker that it is. Also, that I couldn't seem to regulate it on my own, meaning just not log on. It just didn't work. I'm drawn to people and Facebook gets me a bunch of my people at once. I may elaborate on this later, but let me say that I am less homesick without it. (Notice I did not say "not homesick", just less.)
I've really appreciated those of you that have reached out in other ways just because you missed me. It's good to be missed. :)

I decided to blow off the 30 Twitterless days. Twitter is much less of a time leach and there are certain events in my life just compel me to tweet (i.e. Passion Conference, my new found love, Downton Abbey, and my wanna be family, the Bravermans.) I LOVE live tweeting. I crack myself up. There you have it. I'd failed on one of the goals before I even started. Bless.
I watched & tweeted every live session of the Passion Conference.
It was wonderful to watch from the warm couch with my hot cocoa, but also sad not to be there this year. 
Couple of random pics:

Meg at volleyball clinic.
My friend,  Sage. We were freezing. You'll notice the scarf.
This is my 2nd scarf ever. Both were bought in Houston. Nuts.
You know what happens with me, it's feast or famine. So, here's a post...that means there will be more shortly...then a drought again. Ha!

If you are on Facebook, and feel a nudge, go ahead a share this for me. :)