Sunday, September 22, 2013

Seeing Is Believing.

For seventeen blessed days, the longest consecutive stretch since the 8th grade, I have been wearing glasses. Cutesy as they are, I don't love wearing glasses all the time. This little spell of wearing spectacles was in preparation for LASIK.
I've been coveting LASIK for several years, so when Spouse said, "Book it!" I did!

Here's a few pics Spouse was able to catch:
Let's do the thang.
I was pumped. I believe like a Reebok in1991.
I wasn't nervous, but they gave me Valium anyway. Ok, then.
The whole procedure took only about 10 minutes or so. It was weird, I could sort of see the doctor brushing on my eye, and I was asking him questions. At one point, he asked, "How are you doing, Melissa?" I said, "Me? Listen. How are YOU doing?" It was fun. Not as fun as a pedicure, but fun to be chatty while tools are in my eyeball. 
So, I got off of that table, got some more drops in my eyes and Spouse took me home. 

In true Melissa-fashion, I didn't start my drops in the car as instructed. I figured I'd just wait til I got home. Also, in true Melissa-fashion, I paid the stupid tax. This time the stupid tax due was in the form of pain, burning, and pain. The Miley Cyrus eye-skewers I wanted couldn't have been this bad. Spouse managed to get drops in my eyes, somehow, because I couldn't even open my eyes. I'm guessing the Valium was working, too, because I was perfectly cray. I remember saying, "Call em. Call the doctor and tell them it burns. Nobody said it burns!" Never mind that my cornea flap had just been opened and a laser beamed in my eye, no one had mentioned burning. Bless. He just called the doctor and laughed at my fool shenanigans. Anyway, I took some Tylenol PM and I passed out. I slept for 4 hours, woke up ravenous and I could see!! Crazy!
Also, knowing this opportunity may never come again, I took more Tylenol-PM and went back to sleep. I'm pretty sure I slept 16 of 30 hours. This is known as WINNING, Kids. 

Because I am a chronic over-sharer and a total nut-case, I give you this beauty:
I have to wear these when I sleep for a week. They aren't uncomfortable,
believe it or not, but they are the most heinous-looking contraceptives ever.
When I woke up, my little friend,Sara, had left me a love note. Sara served as chauffer on Thursday & Friday while Spouse was tending to me.  She speaks my Love Language. 

Three days later and my eyeballs look like I burst blood vessels giving birth to septuplets, but I can see! I'm still on a strict eye-drop regimen for several more days, but I can see! One of the eye-drops makes my eyes look like I put milk in them, but I can see! I feel a little itchy, but I can see! I can't wear make up for a few more days, but I can see!

As promised, this post was written with 20/20 vision without glasses or contacts! This is one of those times I really thank the Lord for the miracles of modern medicine! It is amazing! I would do it again, for sure.


  1. Well, thanks. Alan has been trying to get me to have lasik for a year. The thought of someone operating on my eyeballs creeps me out. Thanks for sharing. If I have it done, I'll make sure to begin the eye drops in the car. :)

    1. 1. I am so glad to see your name, if not hug your neck! 2. I don't know a single person, myself included, that has regretted it! My contacts were giving me a perpetual fit! If Alan is giving you a green light, Sister, go!

  2. Melissa I am so happy you did it. I have had mine done for like 7 years now. I had the PRK done so they actually burned a hole through my eye and then I had to wear a contact for two days and then yay I was done. I stood up seeing 20/20 it is amazing!!!! It changes your life. Have fun with your new eyes! - Melody