Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Not Consumed.

A gift on a day that I completely bottomed out.
Have you ever heard it said, "Anything worth doing is hard."
If that is true, we are doing something worth doing, Kids.

I haven't been able to post in a while because, well, I don't like to be a downer. I think I've told y'all before, absence on this blog will likely indicate that I'm in a funk of some sort. I'm on an upswing, but let me tell ya, it's been ugly.

The highs and lows of this life in the burbs of Houston are in constant battle. We like it here, don't misunderstand me, but this is hard.

For starters, we have been disconnected from the Body of Christ for 7 months. Or, semi-connected at best. At first, it was refreshing! Being able to walk in to church and just sit. None of this 'I've got to run this to __'s class and return it', bring breakfast, or 'I need to ask ____ about ____.' 
Y'all know what I'm talkin' about. It was nice to just go and consume. 

Well, I'm over it.
Reached my limit.
Probably about a month or so ago.
We are not church consumers. We are producers, aka disciple-makers.
(If you are a Christian, you are a producer, too.)

We are ready to be plugged in to a little c church (Remember that?) to impact the Big C Church. It's one thing to go to a new church, but you can't just go jump right in and start teaching a class or rocking babies or whatever. It takes some time to show leadership that we aren't total whackadoos. 
(Meghan said, the other day, "BAHA! Mom! You just said we aren't whackadoos!" Awesome.)

Also, hard though, are the little things, superficial even, like finding a dentist, a doctor, and a place to do my hair. I need a homeschool group. My girls need friends. Unpacking is stressful. We have a ton more space than we had before and I still stress about where to put stuff! Really?! And then there's the schooling---you Homeschool Mommas know the drill: I'm failing the children, not doing enough school, yadda yadda...

There is/was just the isolation. Probably the worst part. Hello? Queen of Sanguines here! Isolated. Stressed. Spouse going to work, doing an awesome job and being all appreciated. And, me? In this cutesy house with a headache every single day. I mean it. Every day. Several days I hit the migraine, sick point. 

<I even went to the doctor, and bless her, she prescribed a massage. Made an appointment.>

There was weeping and gnashing of teeth. I was in this adorable house with a good bit of space an NO ONE TO FILL IT. No body stopping by on there way to or home from class. No body asking when Mel's Diner would be open. The lows are low. I didn't even want to go to church! Ugh. This is so uncharacteristic, but it's true. I didn't want to put forth the effort to get dressed and do my hair and whatnot. I knew I needed to, so I went. It was hard, even after I got there. 

And, let me tell you something. My Spouse has just loved me. When I was too overwhelmed to make decisions, he did it for me. Dude bought furniture without me. The sales rep remembered how indecisive I was and asked, "Does your wife know you're here? Is this wise?" I love that my girls get to witness their dad taking care of things when Mom goes spastic.

None of this is to say that I regret being here. I don't. Not one bit. I'm not freaking out saying, "I want to go home" or anything. We are doing it. It's the doing it part that is tough. Quitting is easy.

The purchase. Love it. There is a dresser, too,
but I wouldn't take a picture of it because it was surrounded by boxes.
So, one day last week after a full on meltdown while on hold with the water company and writing down some Scripture on my To-Do list, I called a friend from home. I had been tempted to call her at about 6 that morning, but I waited. :) You're welcome. I distinctly knew that she was the one to call. After two hours of encouragement and Truth and laughing and crying, I was just about ready to pick up my mat and walk.
I cropped out the obscenely long list on the other side of the page.
But, first, I needed to pray. Pray 'pacifically', as Maddy used to say. (I SO wish she still did.) Pray very specifically for a homeschool group of moms with whom to connect. Pray over this Bible Study group. Pray for my two sweet Houston friends that I already loved. (Elizabeth & Liz, y'all are a true gift.) Pray that we will see what our role will be within this Body of Believers. Pray over my neighbors. (We are working to be very intentional about engaging our neighbors.) Pray for my girls to make friends. 

See all these people? The. Church. I was energized just by being with them. There was salsa and the Word. For the win.
And, praise King Jesus! It's happening. We have connected with a local little c church and a Bible study group. Just about when I thought I would never find Millennial Love again, I have. Glory!

There is something about the Lord that can bond two people faster than any Krazy Glue. 
Moms. Millennials. Teachers. Singles. Dads. Younguns. 
Doesn't matter. Shows us how tight & small the Body of Christ is.

I met up with a some homeschool moms that I connected with immediately. I mean, we were at Panera. Who can't connect there? No really, they are too fun and I'm excited to spend more time with them. One of the families is coming to help fill this house tomorrow for a lunch/ playdate.

Not to put a lot of pressure on these new little friends, but seriously, they have been the life-giving hands and feet of Jesus to me. Plus, they are hilarious.
My little friend, Sage, coaching her volleyball team in Jesus's name. Love at first sight with this one.
Rachelle. Gorgeous. Love at first sight again, I tell you.  We had a 4 hour lunch date. And, she blogs.
Proof that Spouse is really concerned about my emotional state. Bless him. 
OK. Just so y'all know it hasn't all been bad and I have been holding it somewhat together, here's a few pics:

Is that the coolest thing you've ever seen? This little girl needs her own HGTV show. 
Girls, I can not tell you how valuable it is to have a husband that can build stuff & fix stuff. It's good for them, too.
Proof that there has been some semblance of school going on around here. 

See what I mean by 'lows'? ^^
This is sort of a 'high'---until I look at all the boxes that ARE LEFT!

After eating out so much the last 7 months, we are glad to cook at home!

So, there it is.

Proof that "Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail..."

Almost consumed, maybe, but "his compassions are new every morning."


  1. Ohhh, I'm so glad I read this! It speaks to my heart, sweet new friend! I totally get "hiding out" and I appreciate your being real here. Glad my family could come "fill" your house this week. We had such a great time! I can't wait to spend more time with you and introduce you to some more wonderful women! I've already been spreading the word about an awesome new chick in town that people would be blessed to know!

    1. Ohh, Sister. I am so grateful for you!!