Saturday, October 20, 2012

Revisiting Spouseisms for the Betrothed

Spouseisms for the Betrothed was posted back in April as we were all getting excited about two impending weddings:

                                        Taryn & Reuel
                                            Tara & Stephen
Tara and Stephen were married in August. This ceremony and celebration exceeded every expectation we had for Tara. She was nothing less that radiant. Stephen was the cutest, most endearing, nervous wreck of a groom I've ever seen.
Photo by Ashley Galloway at Beautiful Life Photography.
And, their junior bridesmaids! Bless!
It was liked they were picked out of a magazine!
Photo by Ashley Galloway at Beautiful Life Photography.
Beautiful girls by The Spouses.
Taryn and Reuel are getting married next weekend. We are an obnoxious sort of excited around here. I can feel the cry-induced headache coming on already.
It is sure to be a flawless, God-honoring wedding celebration sealing their covenant before the Lord.

Below is part of the original posting of Spouseisms for the Betrothed:
(Sort of an In Case You Missed It.)

While 2 little girls are thinking about the weddings, I'm thinking about the marriages.

I've made it clear (in my profile) that I love giving unsolicited marriage advice. :)  That said, they know I love them and will probably not be at all surprised about my shenanigans here on this blog.

Taryn and Reuel are getting married in October. Look at them! They are radiant! Taryn was absolutely created for Reuel. With tears now I tell you that they love their Savior and adore each other. These two have been such a blessing to our family. And, they are brilliant. Seriously. Super smarties. Their kids that they aren't having (BAH!) are going to be prodigies. And beautiful--can you imagine what their offspring will look like? Blessed assurance.

Here are some SPOUSEISMS for y'all:
 (Not all will apply, and some you have already heard over and over and over and over...)

-Make Bible study and church attendance a priority. From the beginning. Don't let other things creep in. It happens fast, so guard against it. There will always be laundry, the beach and beautiful days to tempt you. Keep Sundays for worshipping your Creator in a Bible-believing church.

-Leave and cleave. I don't mean geographically. Y'all are your own family unit.  All of y'all have excellent families that would encourage autonomy.

-Resist the temptation to put a TV in your bedroom. I read somewhere that couples with a TV in the bedroom have 30% less sex than those without. Just sayin'. 

-Limit friendships with single people. I didn't say 'remove', just limit. 

-Stephen and Reuel, tell her she's beautiful until she believes you. Which may be never. And do it in public.

-Tara and Taryn, (and Melissa), do not complain about your body to your husband. Feel free to tell me this anytime. Mark thanks you. :)

-Live beneath your means.

-Never say divorce. Just call it 'the terrible awful' like Minnie in The Help.

-Always say 'I'm sorry'.

-Go to some of those corny marriage conferences. Just do it, even if your marriage is healthy. It's worth the money. 

-If you ever even think about leaving, promise Mark and me 60 minutes. Even if it's 60 FaceTime minutes.

-For peter's sake, answer your phone.

-Take the longest honeymoon you can afford. While you're on your honeymoon, read Real Marriage by Mark Driscoll. Well, I probably shouldn't boss you about your honeymoon, but you get the idea. It's a good one.

-Call Melissa to check in once in a while.

-Reuel, say the last one with me..."Never let 'em get tired or hungry."

I still stand by every single one of these Spouseisms. And, I reserved the right to add more. 
Here's the more:

-Don't sweat the small stuff. Example: how to fold a fitted sheet, how to load a dishwasher, etc.  

-Make corny little traditions just for your family. Observe them and celebrate them unapologetically. 

-Do fun little date nights, beyond dinner and a movie. A painting class, dance lessons, bike rides, whatever. Husbands, you buy the Groupons for these and you plan them. I'm not guaranteeing anything, but there is usually a payoff for this sort of thing. Just sayin'.

-Speaking of the payoff-- You. Are. Married. Rock on.

-Learn about Love Languages. It's a book by Gary Chapman. Learn one another's Love Language and learn your own. Good stuff.

-Visit city of Houston, Texas. This is extremely important during the first year of marriage. It is a known fact that this increases marital bliss. I read that somewhere.

Taryn & Reuel,
You are about to get on the ride called Marriage. It is anything but boring. There will be all the elements of a good amusement park ride: waiting, anticipation, uphill climbs, laughing, screaming, throwing your hands up, nauseating drops, crying, white knuckle gripping, nervousness, and moments you just want the ride to stop. It may stop and slow down, let you catch you breath, but never, ever do you get to unbuckle. Just ride it out. It's so worth the nausea. 

I am so proud of you. It is my privilege to call you my friends. 

I love you more than Caramel Macchiato.

Grow old together.


  1. I LOVE this. And you. I think this shall go in the book {wedding book ;)}

  2. I'm a new follower and this is the first post I've read. While I don't agree with everything 100%, I love your advice and even though I'm married 5 1/2 wonderful years, I will take some of it to heart.

    XO Jess

    1. Jess, thank you for reading and responding. I appreciate that you took the time! I hope you stick around a while!