For seventeen blessed days, the longest consecutive stretch since the 8th grade, I have been wearing glasses. Cutesy as they are, I don't love wearing glasses all the time. This little spell of wearing spectacles was in preparation for LASIK.
I've been coveting LASIK for several years, so when Spouse said, "Book it!" I did!
I've been coveting LASIK for several years, so when Spouse said, "Book it!" I did!
Let's do the thang. I was pumped. I believe like a Reebok in1991. |
I wasn't nervous, but they gave me Valium anyway. Ok, then. |
Done! |
So, I got off of that table, got some more drops in my eyes and Spouse took me home.
In true Melissa-fashion, I didn't start my drops in the car as instructed. I figured I'd just wait til I got home. Also, in true Melissa-fashion, I paid the stupid tax. This time the stupid tax due was in the form of pain, burning, and pain. The Miley Cyrus eye-skewers I wanted couldn't have been this bad. Spouse managed to get drops in my eyes, somehow, because I couldn't even open my eyes. I'm guessing the Valium was working, too, because I was perfectly cray. I remember saying, "Call em. Call the doctor and tell them it burns. Nobody said it burns!" Never mind that my cornea flap had just been opened and a laser beamed in my eye, no one had mentioned burning. Bless. He just called the doctor and laughed at my fool shenanigans. Anyway, I took some Tylenol PM and I passed out. I slept for 4 hours, woke up ravenous and I could see!! Crazy!
Also, knowing this opportunity may never come again, I took more Tylenol-PM and went back to sleep. I'm pretty sure I slept 16 of 30 hours. This is known as WINNING, Kids.
Because I am a chronic over-sharer and a total nut-case, I give you this beauty:
I have to wear these when I sleep for a week. They aren't uncomfortable, believe it or not, but they are the most heinous-looking contraceptives ever. |
When I woke up, my little friend,Sara, had left me a love note. Sara served as chauffer on Thursday & Friday while Spouse was tending to me. She speaks my Love Language.
Three days later and my eyeballs look like I burst blood vessels giving birth to septuplets, but I can see! I'm still on a strict eye-drop regimen for several more days, but I can see! One of the eye-drops makes my eyes look like I put milk in them, but I can see! I feel a little itchy, but I can see! I can't wear make up for a few more days, but I can see!
As promised, this post was written with 20/20 vision without glasses or contacts! This is one of those times I really thank the Lord for the miracles of modern medicine! It is amazing! I would do it again, for sure.