Wednesday, February 6, 2013

Identity Crisis

"I don't even know who I am anymore!"

Anybody ever said it? Thunk it? Anyone? Anyone?
<Insert Ben Stein's voice here.>
Bueller?
Annndddd, I just lost 4 of my 5 readers.

So, none of you ever said or thought something and immediately chased it with a shot of "Did I just say that? And mean it?"

Yessss you have. Just admit it.

Got a few scenarios for ya:

Girl who didn't want a baby until the day she found out she was pregnant. Until then was all about some self and some work. Then, she was all like, "I want to be a stay-home mom." Whattt?? Then, was a bona-fied PTA Board Member before said child had a first day of Kindergarten. Work? You mean, for pay? Who has time?!

Boy who probably got married cause it seemed like the next logical step was not all that into the girl in the dreamy sense. God did a work on the both of them and Boy is now a Spouse who is ridiculously into the girl. *She grins.*

Girl volunteers at a pregnancy care center and helps launch an education program for teens. I would speak in local schools & faith-based organizations on the benefits of delaying sexual activity until marriage. Awesome job. Identity came with it: The Sex Lady. No joke. Middle and high school students from all over would catch me out in public and holler, "Hey, that's my sex lady!" I would smile, wave and say, "Now, explain to your momma why you just called me that." And they would proceed to tell them that I was the lady who came to health class telling them that sex is awesome, but you have to wait til you're married. Amen. "Yes, Ma'am. That's true. I said that."

Girl, now Homeschoolin' Momma, can't imagine anything else. Another work that God did. She now uses phrases like, "do school" rather than "go to school".

Doing school on the trampoline back yard in Florida.
A few more pics from our back yard in Florida.
Girls' garden they grew with Spouse.

Mac. He was good. On the grill.
We had a couple of rabbits (sometimes more than a couple!), some chickens, and a couple of ducks.
Also, is she the cutest ever?
GoKarting in the pasture.
Now. These photos I share for a reason. This is decidedly country living. We were very comfortable in it. Rarely did we get solicitors or other - ahem - door knockers.
We walked outside in bare feet, without makeup. Let the dog and kids and dirt and weeds run free.

Then today happened. I was reminded once again that I don't even know who I am.

I am typing this with manicured, acrylic nails that are the product of an idiotic, insecure impulse. And, that's not even the worst of it!

I walked out to take the trash and found this in my yard.

This. This is the poop that prompted today's post.


I laid eyes on this poop in my yard in my deed-restricted subdivision with an HOA and I let out an audible GASP!  Somebody did not clean up their dog's excrement in my yard!? There is dog poop in my freaking yard! Good Lord, who are you? You came from a yard with all kinds of poop in it at any given time and you are now one of those people who fuss about poop in the area of the yard that you have yet to step foot on!? 

I wanted to beat my own tail with a flip-flop for being ridiculous.

I am not a person that cares about dog poop in the grass. It's OUTSIDE! I have been the person that lol'd about well-meaning, responsible dog owners carrying a plastic poop bag, saying, "I'm not going to live anywhere that I have to pick up dog poo in a bag!"

What a magoo.

Oh, the Nevers I've choked down. I laugh. Ridiculous.

What about you? Any life situations of today that prove to be completely opposite of your lofty plans?

4 comments:

  1. This made me laugh, alot. I remember living in South Tampa on our beautifully manicured, postage-stamp-sized lot, and getting really irritated when the people DIDN't carry their pooh bag.

    So, what has happened that was opposite of my lofty plans?

    Well, after being "dogs belong outside," and "it's not a real dog unless it weighs more than 40 pounds," we now are the doting owners of 2 lapdogs, who weigh less than 20 pounds combined!

    Hmmm...I do believe I said: "I will NEVER homeschool," and yes, I did. Twice.

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    1. That is great! I believe my Spouse has said that business about 'real dogs', too. I have two little girls lobbying for a small one...Wonder who will win? :)

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  2. Oh. My. Word!!!! i Love you!!! Never say Never- per Fievel not the Bieber!! Lord knows I have had to eat my words on many, many occasions!

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  3. I miss you, girlie! Your wit, your wisdom, your humor! And yes, I have had a lifetime of "Who am I?" moments! Thanks for the smile this morning. Love you!!

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