Monday, November 12, 2012

Beautiful Singleisms

I've had several conversations (real-life ones, Twitter, text, all modern) with lovely, and I mean LOVELY, single, 20-somethings expressing their frustrations with singleness-related issues. One frustration in general resonated across the board: hearing that they are "too picky" when it comes to dating.

Now, y'all long-time readers know that these 20-somethings are of the Millennial Generation

They are my favorites. They had me at "social networking".  
Holy iPhone, Batman!  My heart is racing right now just thinking about 'em.

They are a motivated, take-action group and they are slated to be the most educated generation. They are world-changers. 

So, one of these motivated 20-somethings comes to you and says how hard it is to find someone that is "dateable" and how he/she is tired of hearing the "you're too picky" remark. What do you say?

Hold the phone. I've got a little something for ya. These little nuggets of goodness are gender-neutral, gender specific posts will follow. :) 

  • Know who you are. Know whose you are. 
  • Embrace your singleness in Jesus's name.  Rock on for the glory of the Lord.
  • Stop looking. Really. Stop trying to find someone dateable and be someone dateable.
  • Remember, the purpose for dating is to find a suitable spouse. If there is a 'deal breaker', don't stick around.
  • Travel. Really. You just should see as much of this world as you can afford. It seems unrelated to dating, but it's not. Seeing the world, its beauty, injustices, people, and cultures open your eyes to who YOU ARE, which enables you to see others differently.
  • Expect a little less than perfection. No one is perfect. You may just be blessed enough to find someone perfect for you. This will likely be an opposite in many ways. Exhibit A: The Spouses.
  • Determine the difference between flaws and deal breakers. For real. And, be willing to walk.
  • Be slow to reject solely based on physical appearance or even a little awkwardness. You may reject in haste and miss a sweet friendship or more. Lunch or coffee is a quick 'date', little investment.
  • Christian Singles: Dating is NOT, I repeat, NOT a mission field. Period. No. Exclamation!
  • Do not believe everything you see on the Facebook. You already know this. Cause you're smarties. Speaking of Facebook, real voice conversations are important in dating. Call. Don't text, tweet, update, or message. Call. Like, dial the phone with the numbers.
  • Let's not let Mr. or Ms. Right catch you being all sketchy with Mr. or Ms. Very Wrong. Don't waste your time. Plus, this never makes for a good wedding speech. 
  • Ask yourself, "Am I picky or do I have high standards? Am I picky or prideful? What am I picky about?" Are you picky about qualities of a leader for your home or physique or finances? Having a high standard is good, you don't need to shop the clearance aisle, here. Being prideful or arrogant is a different story. Remember Gaston from Beauty and the Beast? Eww. 
{Google Images}
  • If you hang out at bars/clubs on the prowl looking for a hook-up, stop reading my blog. Just stop.
  • Seek mature, godly counsel from someone who doesn't want good for you, but that wants best for you. Someone that has no vested interest in your dating life. Read: no attraction on either of your parts. Then, ponder the counsel. Their perspective is likely not as clouded as yours may be.
  • Pray for the one you aren't dating, yet. Pray for the one you may not have even met yet. Your attitude will change when you know you are praying for your future spouse in specific ways. Pray for his/her family, education, manners, salvation, physical health, walk with Jesus, purity, etc.
  • Don't live like you're waiting. Live like you're living. Live on purpose.

Bottom line: You deserve God's very best. So does your future spouse.

What do you think? Are you a single, 20-something?
If you aren't, what would you say to a single, 20-something about picky dating?


  1. Thank you for this fresh perspective! Its good to receive confirmation that you are doing the right thing. Especially when the world tells you otherwise. This was a huge blessing to me. Thank you!!

    1. Thank you for reading and commenting! Stay the course, Sister!
      I see you are in Floridia, which makes me love you already! :)

  2. I so appreciate what you've written. I'm a 30-something single and it still applies. And yes, I'm picky. :-) But the Lord has also been softening the perfection pickyness that I've had. Too many people in my life lately think I need to get out there and find someone. But I would rather spend my time living on purpose than living like I'm waiting. Being obedient in what God has called me to. So thanks. I'm feeling very affirmed.

    1. Thank you for reading and commenting! I am happy this resonated with you and tickled that you are feeling affirmed! You should! :)