How Many is Too Many?

I have two children. That's it. Unless we, as Maddy puts it, "go get some" [and we just may] my girls are all I'm going to have. :) And, honestly, I'm good with it. Let's face it, so is American society. Two is a very socially acceptable number of children, isn't it? Three even, but four kids? Whoa. You're pushing it. Six? Must be Old School Catholic, right?


<Insert crucial conjunction here-----> BUT, what about my friends that have any where from 4-13 children and those that are willing to foster/adopt even more? Maybe the Duggar Family has sparked this discussion more in recent years, maybe it's the "Quiverfull" movement among some Christians, I don't know, but it seems to come up a lot more lately.


Here's the deal. I'm neither from nor likely to have a large family. But a recent conversation has led me to take it upon myself to defend my friends with larger families. Why? Because I have a blog that gives me a forum and I woke up in the middle of the night thinking about it.


What are some of the criticisms large families receive?
How can they afford all those kids? How can they spend quality time with each child, individually? It's not fair for the kids to have so many siblings. Why are they doing it? Why have so many, why not adopt?


-How can they afford all those kids?
     (Disclaimer: I understand there are other situations, but I am writing about my specific friends, here. Not your cousin's brother-in-law that is abusing the welfare system with five children.) I can't speak for every one, but is it possible that some of these people live within or below (gasp!) their means? Is it possible that my friends who love their children with the love of the Lord do not drive new vehicles or live in newly constructed homes? I know they eat a lot of meals at home, which is wonderful on several levels!! I don't know all of their financial situations, but I know their kids are fed, clean, and clothed.


-How can they spend quality time with each child?
    This one is sort of funny to me. I'm sorry, but it is. Take the Duggars, for instance. I've heard the bit about 'there is no way they can spend quality time with their kids every day'. This is nice, because the person saying it is looking out for the interest of the kids, which I'm always for. But, how is this different than both parents working 8-10 hours a day while the children are in the care of others? I'm not criticizing this, I just can't see how one is socially acceptable, but not the other. Also, just like the financial question, the time issue is about priorities. The parents I am thinking of definitely spend time with each of their children...and grown children...and grandchildren! Honestly, it raises the standard for me. I'm being convicted right now! :)


-It's not fair for the kids to have so many siblings.
     Just ask ANY of those siblings if they think it was or is unfair. Dare ya. ;)


-Why are they doing it?
    Again, I can't speak for them, and it's best if I let God's Word do the speaking:


Children are a heritage from the LORD, 
   offspring a reward from him. 
 Like arrows in the hands of a warrior 
   are children born in one’s youth. 
 Blessed is the man 
   whose quiver is full of them. Psalm 127:3-5


Oh, man. I'm sort of feeling that familiar whooping from the Word. I no longer like this post. 
Moving on...


--Why have so many? Why not adopt?
     I understand this, sort of. Again, I think this is directed out of love and concern for children who need families. Listen. I've read James. Took that whoopin', too! What I have found, though, is that these with large families (and lots of folks with smaller families, for that matter) DO take care of orphans. It may be through fostering or adoption, it may be through organizations like Compassion or World Vision, or a local children's home, but they have a heart for the children. Of those that ask this question about adoption, I want to ask, "How many have you adopted?" When I hear the question, "Why so many?", I want to say, "Why not?" or "Which one would you give back?"


I'm not saying I think everyone should have a bunch of children. I'm not saying we shouldn't. I am saying that Christians should not be criticizing one another, but encouraging and praying for one another. Be proud of these parents who are willing to take God at His Word that 'Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from him'.