Friday, March 16, 2012

The Spouses: Established March 16, 1996

The Spouses. Established March 16, 1996.
I wish I had a wedding day pic for you... maybe next year.
Just know, we were 20 & 21 and looked 15. Scary.
Our marriage has been like Brad and Angelina's [post-fornication] scene in Mr. & Mrs. Smith when they roll out of bed, hair in place, she's wrapped in beautiful white sheets and he walks in with breakfast &  coffee.

Wait. What? I am actually cracking my junk up right now.

Let's be more real than a Facebook status. I am absolutely crazy in love with Mark Hale. Definitely more so than the day I married him, and I loved him then. There is just no way to prepare for the depth that your spouse can get in to your whole being. The Bible says that "the two will become one flesh. So that they are no longer two, but one flesh." (Mark 10:8) We really are one.

BUT, let me tell you: There is no one on the planet --not your parents, your children, your siblings, nor your local pharmacy-- that can make you as screaming mad as your spouse.
No one.
Not that I'm speaking from experience or anything.

Oh, yes I am! I am so grateful that, by God's ridiculous grace, Mark and I are still married. On our first anniversary, I wasn't sure there would be a second. We were two incredibly selfish people. It disgusts me now, but I am grateful for the opportunity to sometimes speak candidly to couples who think their relationship is irreparable. If God can restore us, He can restore anyone. And, He wants to, by the way.

So, Memo to YOU: Marriage isn't like a Taylor Swift love storyish music video. But, it is so worth it.

  • Love puts gas in my car because I detest it. And, I've been known to get it all over me
  • Love is sure we have creamy AND crunchy peanut butter. 
  • Love is accountable.
  • Love mows the yard instead of napping on a Saturday. 
  • Love has also done its share of mowing on a Thursday so that it's done before Saturday. :)
  • Love is not having too much furniture in the house because a certain Spouse is deathly afraid of clutter build up.
  • Love has been known to yell, "Corner of the roof, Melissa! Corner of the roof!" (See Proverbs 21:9)
  • Love has let him live. :)
  • Love, for us, is not having fancy towels. [Really. We only have functional towels. Spouse hates the nonfunctional.]
  • Love will put you in a mad rage. You. Never me. 
  • Love DOES mean having to say you're sorry for said rage. (Sorry Ryan O'Neal and Ali MacGraw.)
  • Love doesn't just bring home the bacon, it fries it up, serves it, and washes the dishes.
  • Love says we have to switch to turkey bacon. 
  • Love is sometimes, not worrying about the dishes.
That's just what I say about love. You can forget it all if you want. 
Here's what the Bible says, read it fresh, if you will:

Love is patient, love is kind. Love does not envy, it is not boastful or conceited, does not act improperly, is not selfish, is not provoked, and does not keep a record of wrongs.
Love finds no joy in unrighteousness, but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 
Love never ends.  I Corinthians 13:4-8

Real love, real marriage, just like a relationship with Jesus, is dying to yourself. Period.

So, here's a question: What does REAL LOVE do in your house?


  1. Missy, when Love lived in my house, Love washed my feet when it was discovered that I was angry, hurt, bruised and carrying a hugely heavy grudge. Love has been gone almost six years now, but I will never forget having my feet washed on February 14, 2001. Love did lots of other things too. Did you know Love wanted to live in Montana where there are mountains and snow? But Love moved to Florida where there are oceans and beaches, sand and shells. Sometimes Love watched too much TV, and Selfishness fumed and complained. Then Love would say, "Whatever you want." Whatever you want. That's mostly what Love did at my house. Whatever I wanted. And I miss Love terribly, still. I think maybe I always will!

    1. Oh, wow! What a sweet tribute! Thank you for sharing that!

  2. Great post! B may use that roof top one! Crackin' me up!

    1. Thank you, Sister! Yes, yes...very funny...I'm grateful we can laugh about it!

  3. I love how love looks different in every circumstance. For me love is going... leaving & cleaving, love is love no matter the distance, love laughs with me, love encourages me, love & I know that love won't always be easy but make a choice to always love,love lets me sing at the top of my lungs & still compliments my tune,love cries and isn't afraid to show emotion and love is grateful for the big God who knew love all along.

    Thanks for this post, it's one of my favorite. So sweet and very real.