King-Sized Bed- Not Needed.

The last time my Spouse was out of town, my girls slept over with me in my room for maybe the fourth time ever.

Ever.

There are 4 beds in this house.
I ended up on the couch.
The likelihood of a fifth time is slim. I can't even deal.
I'm just not a co-sleeping parent.
I have respect for those who do. It's just never been my thing.
I have friends that are or were co-sleepers and they are great parents. 
Some even have very well-adjusted grown kids. *grinning* 

Remember, my goal is "World's Okayest Mom", so co-sleeping is not a requirement for that title.

Let's be clear: we are a snuggling family. We do well with the early morning snuggles in the bed and on the couch, and until they get to the point they think they are too big to snuggle, I'm in. Just not sleeping the whole night.

Co-sleeping is not good for us and I have the stats to prove it.

So, you're welcome in advance. Feel free to use these when necessary.

Here's why our kids sleep in their own beds:

Ribs. Co-sleeping increases your odds of cracked ribs by .01234%.
Listen. I've got work to do as a mom, I can't gamble with these odds.

Sleep Quality. Children sleep 123% better in the parents' bed, while the parents' sleep quality is decreased by 98.765%. You know it's true. Even a small one just can't argue with these numbers.

Future Generations. If there are always children in your bed, you can't use your bed in the way God intended. This effects your number of offspring, which effects the number of grandchildren you have. See? Co-sleeping could very well be the leading cause of what has been referred to as Demographic Winter.

 Stink. A child's body temperature is approximately 98.Eleventyº. They have the morning sweat to prove it.
Precious angel from heaven sweats +mom sweats+ dad sweats= stink.
First thing in the morning.
Nope.

Failure to Launch. Co-sleeping is a slippery slope, people. You let those little pillow-snatchers in your bed once, they'll prey on weakness every night at 2:48am for the rest of your natural born life. Then, when he's grown, he'll prey again. I read somewhere that .321% of adult children living at home were co-sleepers as babies.

Sacred Bed. Really. If you ask my girls at any time, "Why doesn't your mom let your sleep in her bed?" They will answer, without hesitation, "My daddy would let me, but mom says the marriage bed is sacred." And, then they'll likely add some smartie-tartie hilarity to go along with it. Whatever. They need to read up on their prescriptures.

So, there ya go. These are the facts.

Thoughts? Co-sleeping or not?

Touchdowns & Kisses

Floyd Casey Stadium. Photo credit: My Spouse!

Spouse and I recently learned of a Texas A&M football tradition that is way better than any drinking game you can learn on any number of typical college campuses.

Last weekend, we went to the Baylor University homecoming game with some of our closest, sweetest friends. Joe is a Baylor alumnus, so we all decided to meet up in Waco for the weekend's festivities. Baylor had scored maybe their second touchdown when Joe let us know their football tradition that they had carried on from our other friends and former pastor & wife, Michael & Liliana.

Evidently, Michael & Liliana kiss each time their team scores at a football game.
We adopted this little tradition faster than you can say, "Gig Em!".

<<I realize in Bear Country, they say "Sic Em Bears!" and I did. Happily. But, I learned that this sweet little kissy tradition came from Aggie Nation. My friends lived in Austin for several years, and apparently caught this vision and brought it to Plant City, Florida! I love it. The point is the "game", not the origin.

So, "Whoop!" or "Gig Em!" or "Sic Em" Whichever! This is a great Tex-tradition! >>

This sweet couple just took a cool college tradition and turned it into a marriage game.

Husbands & Wives, this is brilliant on so many levels.

It's fun. Football games & sporting events in general are fun. Little traditions like this just add to it. Marriage is not a burden to us, my Spouse is not a burden. We enjoy being together and an appropriate little smooch just expresses it. Listen. You can High-Five anybody, even strangers on the row behind you, but kissing at every 'score' (See what I did there?) takes that celebration to a whole 'nother level with your spouse! (That last prepositional phrase is there for a reason, Kids.) (I have a lot of younger readers.) (I'm not saying all kisses have to happen within marriage, but it wouldn't hurt.)

It's unifying. I hope that's a real word. There's not red squiggly underneath it, so I'm going with it. During that whole game, Debra and I were chatting away and solving all the world's problems. But, when Baylor scored, we turned and kissed our husbands! Heyyyy! It was just a little trigger to bring our attention back to our men for just a brief second. Don't you know they loved that junk!?

It edifies marriage. Our culture is not pro marriage. As Christians, we have to be counter-cultural in every way we can, and this accomplishes that in a non-confrontational way. As much as depends on you, be pro marriage! (You do not have to be married to be pro marriage.)

It's a good example. My kids watch our marriage intently. If we've done nothing else right, these girls see that their parents are into each other. Being affectionate (appropriately) in front of the kids is healthy. Then, lock the door.

It honors God. I just have to believe that God is thrilled every time Michael & Liliana share a little marital moment at football games. He designed marriage. He created us for physical intimacy and He created us to enjoy life. When all these things come together, the Lord smiles. I just know it.

Incidentally, the final score was 71-7, Baylor. That's a good start to this newly adopted tradition.

Do you have any fun little traditions like this?

Climb to the 'summit' of Enchanted Rock? Kissies!

PS- Listen. I'm pretty sure I just made up that every time a husband and wife share a kiss, a pegasus gets its wings. Do you really want to be responsible for wingless pegasi (also made up) running around?

Gettin' a Grip. Marriage Edition.

The other day, Spouse and I were holding hands in the car and I just had to snap this picture:

While it's not really an artistically beautiful photograph, it is a disturbingly accurate likeness of our marriage. 

Notice that we are gripping on. By God's grace, we are both gripping at the same time right now; although, I would be lying if I told you that it's always been this way. If not for sheer determination to continue gripping when the other wasn't, we would be any number of marriage statistics: divorced, separated, in a lifeless, miserable marriage, incarcerated, singing Cher songs to drown our misery...who knows? 

Those times of not gripping come from a variety of places. There have been times of selfishness that have left us doing nothing but holding on to ourselves. There have been weeks and months of holding on to babies. These seasons are not necessarily for lack of desire to grip, they may simply be a reflection of urgency rather than importance. I know of semi-recent times periods that left me so exhausted that my grip just wasn't very strong--I just didn't have the strength. What I also know is that the Lord gave my Spouse extra-strength so that he could grip for the both of us.  I am so grateful for this season of grippin' together.

Notice we both have cuts. Oh, Sweet Reader, do we. We showed up to this party with quite a few cuts. We've cut each other. When things were really ugly, we aimed for the old cuts. We were a good aim. Not awesome. Oh, but by His wounds we are healed.  Nothing but grace, People. No longer do we want to go for blood. We want healing and growth and togetherness.

Notice the regular background. It's a regular car and a regular phone charger and regular jeans. Nothing that screams "Extraordinary!" This is very much our now. Regular. Schooling. Cleaning. Regular. Working. Swim. Gymnastics. Regular. 

2013 doesn't look a thing like 2012 and feels sometimes quite mundane. But, we are doing it. 

And, honestly, it's hilarity amidst the mundane. We laugh a lot. 

Notice that the gripping is intentional. The background might look boring, but we are doing the thing.  I mean, look at me, for the love of Tetris! I'm gripping his thumb like a joystick. On purpose! 

We are purposeful about our Jesus, our marriage, our parenting and our home. In. That. Order. 

It was not always this way. Grace. Just grace.

And, that's the picture of us gettin' a grip.

Sometimes that's all you can do, isn't it? 

Get a grip.

Dear America

It's Thursday, Y'all, and it's been a while. These two statements are not related what-so-ever. 

Y'all know we moved, right? Well, that was a Baker Actable experience (All the Floridians understand!) in which I may or may not write about. I want to and it's hilarious, but the way this blog thing has gone lately...well...ya know. I don't want to just outright lie.

To keep things super anti-boring, which I am, we had some of our favorite Floridians come spend the weekend with us 6 short days after we moved in. Cause we're rollin', and <sing Montel Jordan here or you won't be reading it right> this is how we do it.

There's also this little matter of schoolin' these crazy little world changers! Listen. My kids are 98.4% Grade Awesome and their standard of schooling is, too. They are not members of the "C's Get Degrees" Club, of which I may or may not have been the president. Somebody has taught them nonsense about "excellence" & "quality" & "diligence" reflecting character. It's spectacular, really. This school load is killing me and not even softly. (Do you sing it Roberta Flack or Lauryn Hill? I gotta know.) Plus, they are hogging my Mac. 

Anyway, I digress.

Since it's Thursday and it's been a while, I've got a few little letters for ya. They range from Shallow to Snarky to Jesus, much like your writer. Enjoy.

Dear America,
Pinterest is not for boys.
I pinned a similar folding-table contraption on Saturday morning.
The Spouse & Little Sister took a mad fast run to
Home Depot, came back & did work
on this little bad-boy before, during half-time, and between football games.
For the win.

Dear America,
Chatting with this little lady about a recent tragic event. The ever-present question "Why?" was asked. She said, "I can tell you why. I know exactly why. It's the devil. We need Jesus."
Amen, Sister. Amen.

Dear America,

Miss-chee-vee-uss is not a word.

That is all.

Dear America,
No, Honey. Just no.
The fact that the parking lot is near empty is irrelevant.

Dear America,

This is part of the 98.4% Awesome of the Big Sister. Her assignment was to brainstorm ideas for a persuasive paragraph. Now she could have gone deep about ending modern-day slavery or Creation or something, but she went to sweaty palms & sweaty breasts. She is my child. 

So, let the child lead us to the Classy Place where women no longer put phones in their bras.

<P.S. Views expressed in persuasive paragraphs by the churrin' are not necessarily the views of the parents. I have never told my churrin' that everybody should homeschool. I have, in fact, discussed the disturbance of the bra phone. Yes, I noticed the incorrect "there". I was blinded by the brilliance & I don't correct this jazz in a brainstorm. She ended up going with the "Holding hands in church". She has issues with this that I do not share, but like a good parent, I laugh at hilarity. .>

Dear America,

Lord willing, my next blog post will be sans glasses or contacts.

I am pumped like a Reebok in 1991. 

While I think my little glasses the Big Sister chose are cutesy, 

being able to see is going to be supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. 

So, here they are for the last time. If you think about it in the next few hours, 

go ahead and mention my name to Jesus.

Straight Talk About The Talk- Part 2

This is Part 2 in a short series on talking to our kids about sex and ultimately encouraging them to prepare for a healthy, monogamous, godly marriage by delaying all sexual activity until wedding day. :)

Don't be scared! You are equipped!

You can catch up on Part 1 here.

________________________________________________________

Talk Privacy - Anything covered by a swimsuit is private. I'm okay with using the phrase 'private parts' as one of those interchangeable words mentioned before, too. No one, including Mom, Dad or Doctor, should ever look at or touch private parts without the child's permission. I have always appreciated our pediatrician for going overboard in this area. She overtly asks permission in my presence. Teach them that "No" means "No". Every time. Good touch, bad touch. These are uncomfortable conversations because we want our kids to live in the Happy Land of Butterflies. It won't ruin their happy. It will empower them that their words matter.
When discussing privacy, it is also beneficial to encourage your child to save discussions about private parts for alone times with parents. Teach your child that talking about private parts should be, well, private. Do this early. Teach your kid to whisper, for the love of Peter. Hey, I'm just trying to save you some embarrassing questions coming ever-so-loudly from the stroller about the time you are checking out of a department store.
Also, discuss privacy about body functions. Yes, it's all normal, I get that. This is just another way to raise the standard about the body being private. If we get a handle on this early, it helps the oversharing age of high school. Is it really classy to walk around school talking about "my ovaries are in pain this week"? I've heard this so much in school hallways! Let's teach our girls that this is not okay! 

Talk Real - Tell the truth. I had a mom call me once because her 2nd grader heard talk of "a girl putting her mouth on a boy's pee-pee". Mom panicked and lied. 2nd grade! I might have panicked, too. My 'go to' response at that age was "I'm so sorry she said that." Over and over.  When my first grader came home from school telling me she had heard from a friend that the teen star had taken nude photos of herself and texted them to her boyfriend, I just kept saying, "I'm so sorry she said that to you." Then, after the conversation kept going and questions kept coming, "Some people think that other people want to see a picture of other people's genitals. Those are private." By the end of the conversation, my then 7 year-old could just say, "That's so sad. I bet her daddy is sad." Amen.

For the middle/high schoolers: Be clinical. Use terms like "vaginal sex" in order to differentiate. I say this because teens will often reason that oral sex is not sex. So, be specific. When discussing oral sex (you should), it is mouth to genital contact. Remember, if you aren't specific, her buddy at school will be.
On this note, try not to freak out if your son or daughter uses a slang term that you do not approve of. Just correct it. "Yes, I do know what that is, and adults and mature teens would use the phrase 'oral sex' to describe the act of mouth to genital contact. The phrase you heard is slang and derogatory and not awesome."

Talk Purity - You can't be too pure. Raise the standard, here. Be extreme. Be radical in your fight for your child's purity! We must fight fire with fire! There is a war raging against purity! Remember those yay-hoos putting a bounty on Tim Tebow's virginity!? Aggh! I wrote about this before, read that post here. I just read it. Man, I was fired up! I just realized, too, that I am repeating myself a little. I guess I mean it. :)

Talk to your kids about the eyes being a gateway to the heart. Protect what they see and what they allow others to see of them.
This brings us to the issue of modesty. I have girls. It is not cute for young girls to be half dressed showing bellies and chest, period. These short skirts and tight everything... Good grief! I know you know when you are letting your daughter wear something sketchy. Be the parent. This is a hill worth dying on. Now, if your child wants to wear some style you don't love, but everything is covered up, maybe that's not a battle worth fighting. But, the covering up part--Non-negotiable. Again, this has all been said before, but we have to engage in battle here. You aren't going to be too pure.

That being said, I will not say "Modest is hottest" because that phrase makes me want to stick skewers in my ears. Our goal here is not to raise hot, young Christian women. My goal is not that my daughter would one day be someone's "smokin' hot wife", pass the skewers. My goal is that my heart and the heart of my girls be pure. That my children would not hinder their ability to follow Jesus completely. That they would not hinder your son's ability to follow Jesus completely. That my girls would be prepared for fantastic marriages.
Just this week, we were having a discussion with my girls about the Parent Class I taught. Spouse said, "Girls, what we want for you is a great marriage. We want your marriage to be the best it can be and teaching you girls to save sex for marriage is one of the ways we can help you prepare for it."

Talk Marriage -Marriage is awesome.We are not living in a culture that values marriage. Be very counter-culture in this area. As much as depends on you, honor the covenant of marriage. Be pro-family, pro-marriage, and pro-sex! :)

When discussing saving sexual activity until marriage, be sure to use language like "husband and wife", not just "man and woman". You want to plant those words deep. The world is hitting us all with 'friends with benefits' (I say 'friends with liabilities') and, at best, uses phrases like "when a man and woman love each other". No. Not "when a man and woman love each other", "when a man and woman get married" or "when a husband and wife". Set the standard for marriage extremely high, and discuss marriage and sex as a wonderful gift from the Lord. God created sex! Yay, God! Sex is for procreation and recreation within the covenant of marriage.

Sex is awesome.
You know what else is awesome? A milkshake is awesome. Milkshake on my lap? Not awesome. The milkshake is not intended to be in my lap. When a milkshake is in it's intended place, it's awesome. Drink up. Sex outside of it's intended context--marriage, is not awesome. It's less than awesome.

You know what else is awesome? A fire in a fireplace. A fire in a fireplace is warm, soothing, comfortable. A fire in the middle of the living room is destructive. Sex is the same way. Sex in it's intended context, marriage, is wonderful. Any sex outside of that is destructive and unhealthy.

These conversations do not have to (read: shouldn't) happen at one long sit down. These are intended to just give you some talking points to remember as opportunities arise. Movies, songs (my word, listen to the songs!) etc. 

We've made it to Part 2! Next up: Goals, Consequences, and Media. Wahoo!

You are the bravest parents and pre-parents ever!

Click below to share this info!

Straight Talk About The Talk- Part 1

Today, I had the opportunity to speak to a group of parents at my church about talking to their kids about their sexual purity. Naturally, it led to the updating and reposting of this blog from last summer. In true Melissa fashion, I added a lot, leading me to break it up into installments. It looks like there will be 4. Unless I add more. :)

In the least self-promoting way, because I believe in the message, I hope these become the most shared posts of all the Spouseisms posts.
Preparing our kids for a fulfilling, monogamous marriage is the ultimate Spouseism. :)

______________________________________________________________

Parents, Pre-Parents, Educators,

Let's talk about sex. :) (My blog hits just went from 5 to 10 just like that!)

It's time for a little straight talk about The Talk. 

It has to be done. And, as the 'Rents, you are the ones to do it. This business of expecting the I promise, there is no need to worry yourself to the point of hives, nor is there cause to bury your head in the proverbial sand! You can do this! There is, however, cause for you to take seriously the need to talk early and talk often with your kids about sex and the importance of saving all sexual activity until marriage.

Talk to God - Pray. Pray for your child's purity. Pray for what your child is exposed to outside of your presence. Pray that those you entrust with your kids would protect them from exposure to harmful media images. Pray that he would be blind to images that are preying on him. Pray for your child to see herself the way God sees her, a precious gift, purposed in this world to change the world. Pray for your child's future spouse. A really smart momma told me that she always prayed that her children's hearts would be asleep until God had the person to wake it up. Is that precious?!
Pray for these things with your child/teen. 

Bonus: It changes your relationship. Really. They see into your heart and truly believe that you don't want what's good for them, you want what God has for them.

Talk Early - With the Littles, use correct anatomical terms. Penis and vagina are not dirty words. Honestly, it's cute to hear a toddler say vagina. Mine said "sagina" and it was the best! You need to be comfortable saying these words and so do your children.
I explained it to my girls this way: pee-pee/penis or pee-pee/vagina are similar to sofa and couch. They mean the same thing. I gave several examples: chair/recliner, bike/bicycle...you get the idea. Children are not squeamish about saying a word like 'vagina' until they learn to be. Really, it's not a big deal--head, shoulders, knees, toes, penis. It's all about learning their 2000 'fearfully and wonderfully made' parts!

Talk Often - Talking about sex with your child is not a one-time deal. Use teachable moments. Media gives us plenty! Here's the deal, your kids WILL get a sex education. They can get it from NBC, government school, a Kardashian (Lord forbid it), the cool cousin, church, or YOU. I can not say this to enough Mommas: The first person to talk to your child about sex is the expert--Be the expert! 

I'm not saying oversaturate your kid with inappropriate sexual conversation, I'm just saying don't let the moments pass you by and don't wait for some special dinner. Just be casual. Never let 'em see you sweat.
You end up repeating some things and that's okay. Each time, new areas of conversation will come up. And, more details will come up. Don't wait for them to ask questions. By the time the questions come, they've been brewing. Stay ahead of 'em if you can.

I'd love to hear your stories and ideas. Let's help each other out here!
Do you use correct anatomical words in your house? Is this a subject area that causes you angst?

Upcoming Installments: Talk Privacy, Purity, Marriage, Goals, Consequences, Media. :)

Beach Camp

Thursday evening I posted on Twitter & Facebook:

"Getting up at 6am to go camping. In a tent. 

Also looking for a good family counselor in the Houston area."

I was kidding, of course, sorta, 'cause ya know stretching out of one's comfort zone for an extended period of time is enough to send even the tightest of families to counseling. Also, I'd been in a bit of a funk for a couple of weeks and I wasn't sure about my mental stability. 

Still, I'm all about being flex.

The girls have been asking to go camping for a good while now, and with soccer and basketball over, this was the time. I considered letting this be a Dad/Daughter Camping Trip.

But, I couldn't do it. I kept thinking how much my Spouse abhors crowds of people, thus, Disney and how he has faked happy at Disney 100+ (literally) of times, so I could put on the happy face for camping.

Plus, it was at the beach.

Wahoo! 

Loaded and ready.

We were prepared to stay one or two nights, depending on the situation and mood-o-meter. Spouse was even prepared to find us a hotel, in part because he's awesome and in part because the turkey wasn't sure if we'd make it through the night! 

Are you believin' that junk!?

Camping supplies, paddle board, books, Slim Jims, Salt & Vinegar Chips. Boom.

We drove the 4 hours down to Padre Island National Seashore where there is camping right on the beach. 

This has to make camping better, right? The beach? Yes! 

This is what our spot looked like when we got there! 

The view.

And, boom. Shelter.

60 miles of this.

 We didn't drive the whole 60 miles. You need a 4-wheel drive.
Also, the bathrooms would only get farther and farther away.

Speaking of bathrooms, I definitely peed off the back of those dunes.
Spouse was proud.

The paddle board never even came off of the car. It was crazy windy!

There actually were decent bathrooms with COLD showers to help us rinse some of the sand off. During the heat of summer, cold showers might be refreshing, but when the temp was 65 and dropping,  it was horrific. The Big Sister washed her hair, though. Nuts.

We got in the tent pretty early. The wind was picking up and girls were spent.
We got out our books and snuggled in.

Sand was everywhere.

It was so hard to get any sleep. The wind was fierce and the tent was flapping so loudly! It was hilarious. Let me tell you what, though: we were warm. We never felt the wind or the cold. That tent was legit.

And, it turns out, I brought my counselor with me. Spouse and I talked and talked and I cried and he is mine. 

Then...

There was darkness no more.
Beautifully painted sky just for us.

 It was a good little 30 hour trip. And it was enough.
We were ready to go home.
It was great.
Also, we're considering a little pop-up camper.
We might just take this little freak-show on the road.

Just keepin' it real.

Spouses: Here's the Story....

On the occasion, someone will ask me why I call my Spouse “Spouse”.  Today is a perfect day to share!

It all started seventeen short years ago, on March 16, 1996 in a little country church in Florida and two very young & blissfully ignorant individuals. You can read a little more about that in last year’s anniversary post here. 

(I just read it. It's way better than this one, & it wasn't written on I-10. Yes. It's a glamorous life.)

So, we had this wedding. It was small and very cheesy by today’s Pinterest standards. I loved my dress. Our cake was the coolest: individual, stand-alone tiers topped with dolphins in lieu of those little dolls or chubby little Precious Moments people. We were all about simple. Less is more. I had two of my (still) very best friends on the earth stand up with me and that was that.

The wedding was fun, the honeymoon was grand and then it was over.

Then.

Then came all that name-change paperwork: Social Security, Driver’s License, utilities, bank, HR at work, etc.

A bunch of hassle. There wasn’t all this online “Edit Your Profile” jazz. This was “Complete this section in blue or black ink” kind of jazz.

“Your name. Spouse’s name”.

“Your name. Spouse’s name”.

“Your name. Spouse’s name”.

Over and over.

Somewhere along the way, the joke was, “Look. You are just the ‘second line’. The spouse.” It was in good fun and not at all disrespectful. So, it just stuck. We referred to one another as “Spouse”.

Lest we keep a term of endearment to ourselves, our friends started calling Mark “Spouse”, too! Too fun.

Well, why stop there?

Our people called us “The Spouses”.

A few years ago, I found myself offering quite the bit of unsolicited marriage advice. :) (All in the name of love and fun.) Spouse would share his two rules for woman-care: “Never let ‘em get tired or hungry.” (All in the name of love and man.)

These little nuggets would become known as “Spouseisms”, which you are reading!

So, there it is.

And, I'd do it again.
The cheesy wedding. The cake. The dress.
The Spouse.

Do y’all have any cutesy names?

Definition of a Bum. Updated.

This post was originally published last year as the first guest post my Spouse wrote. Several readers have referred back to it on occasion, so I thought it was worth a repost.

_____________________________________________

While walking the streets of Downtown Houston it is not uncommon to encounter some of the many homeless who live on the streets in this city of more than four million people.  Melissa and I have found through conversations that they have names, stories, and life experiences.  

My girls and I have had extensive conversations about the love we can show to the homeless here in Houston: a conversation, a meal, or just acknowledging their existence.  

However, if I bring up the word “bum” my girls get a much different picture.

I often remember hearing people refer to homeless as “bums” when I was younger, but my definition is a little different than my dictionary app on my iPhone and this is what I teach my girls.   

“Bum”

-Noun

1.  Person who avoids work and sponges on others; loafer; idler

2. Over-enthusiast of a specific sport or recreational activity, especially one who gives it priority over work, family life, etc.

3.  An lazy, but able-bodied person

4.  A drunk

5. A selfish person

I want to make sure my girls and those in our college ministry understand 

what a bum looks like:

•       A bum is unwilling to support himself.  No job = bum.
•       A bum is too lazy to open the door for a woman.
•    A bum will put his physical desires ahead of what is best for a woman.
•       A bum leaves the trash can full of trash. Call me “old fashioned”, but a lazy man will have a woman taking out the trash and mowing the lawn.  I tell my girls, “You decide, do you see your mom having to do that?” ("Having" being operative word here.)
•       A bum spends a large portion of his time idle in front of a computer, television, or video game.   The IMB (International Mission Board) is sending more women than men into the harsh, dangerous areas of Africa because our 20 something boys refuse to put down the controller and become men.
•       A bum allows his hobbies or sports interests to consume his life. These things have or will become his idol and he will have no time to worship the true God or lead is family to worship.
•       A bum will allow family and work to take second seat to his ego and comfort.   A man who loves unselfishly will work whatever job it takes to support a family. 
•       A bum is incompetent in the handling of Scripture.  He cannot expect to lead biblically if he is illiterate himself.
•        A bum will allow alcohol to dilute his senses, leaving a woman to worry that he will not be in sober mind to both defend and protect her in any situation. 

Ladies,

·      Top three musts of a dateable man: 

• He must know and walk with Christ daily.
• He must have a drive to work and support his family no matter what that job may look like.
• He should be mentored by your dad or another strong Christian male figure in your life!    

God has a man for you, he is preparing his heart, but you will need to be patient in waiting on God.   Have men in your life, if not your father, that love you enough to identify a bum and believe them when they say it.

Paul described love best in 1 Corinthians 13 this way:

Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, and does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things…. Vs 4-7

When I was a child, I used to speak like a child, think like a child, reasoned like a child 

when I became a man, I did away with childish things.  Vs 11

A bum will look a lot like an overgrown child…

 mdh.

______________________________________________

Whew! Love it! I know there is somebody who needs this word!

Valentines, Motown, Jesus.

{source}
My kinda Valentine: sandy.

As far as I remember, Spouse and I haven't really gone overboard for Valentine's Day. He's not really the oogly- googly type and all I see is dollar $ign$. :) I'd rather get unprompted Oakley or Adidas paraphernalia  on a random Tuesday or Bruce Springsteen's birthday- he was Born in the USA on September 23, 1949, Kids- than candy I don't need on February 14th.
(Not an advertisement, by the way, that's just what came out of my fingers.)

It's funny now, though, because my girls care about it. They like to see that Daddy romances Mom and Maddy-ever the wife-in-training- would likely express great disappointment if Spouse were to blow it off completely.

Their investment is mostly commercial, for sure; we've spent very little discussion time on historical significance. I should probably do that--if nothing more than for a little cultural literacy. I read that the martyred saint would allow soldiers to marry. I'm pretty sure Geoffrey Chaucer (I know you are picturing Paul Bettany right now.) was the one to bring some romance to what before was a day of remembrance to the saint. I'm totally talking out of my bum here, so feel free to correct me. Any of you actually good homeschool mom/teacher types know a good website for reputable info?

Anyhow, it is crazy that with very little television, they've picked up on the traditions of the holiday.
I admit, Spouse and I are quick to label holidays like this "Hallmark Days" and not participating, but it is important to use these opportunities as talking points with our not-so-little girls who are watching our marriage and no doubt dreaming of a One Day. I shudder.

{a pinterest pic}

So, as we are struggling through the construction of our Valentines Boxes for the parties, we can crank up some Motown Radio on Pandora and chat it up. Motown offers great, even biblical talking points on our current holiday season.

• What Becomes of the Broken Hearted? Jimmy Ruffin. 
• Who are the unloved in our world? The forgotten? What can we do? 
• "Whatever you did for the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me." Matthew 25:40
• Ain't Nothing Like the Real Thing, Marvin Gaye & Tammi Terrell
• "We love because He first loved us." 1 John 4:19
• R-E-S-P-E-C-T, Aretha Franklin
• "Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord." Colossians 3:20
• Ain't No Mountain High Enough, Marvin Gaye & Tammi Terrell
• "For I am convinced that neither life nor death, nor angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation will be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 8:38-39 (This one was too easy. Too easy.)
• Tracks of My Tears, Smokey Robinson
• "He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away." Revelation 21:4
• Wonderful World, Sam Cooke
• Remember this one: Don't much about history, don't know much biology...
• "Call to me and I will answer you and tell you unsearchable things you do not know." Jeremiah 33:3

Alright, go ahead. Get your Motown jam on.

Happy Valentine's Day!

 Vintage Baseball Valentines. I dont' know the source, but it is too cute.
Happy Valentine's Day to a sweet young man, JB in PC. I would watch baseball for you.