When We Quit.

I started writing this up several months ago. I let it sit out of fear, if I'm honest. Today, a friend shared an excellent blog post on this subject. Now, I'm mad I didn't post mine earlier.

Good on both of them for their guts! So, go ahead, let's get the discussion started.
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Several years ago, our oldest daughter put in that she wanted to participate in Little League Cheer. We had put her off for a while because it is a heavy commitment, but this particular year, we decided to give it a try. I was struggling with the "Cheer Mom" title, but let me tell you: this kid was adorable in her little cheer uniform. I mean it. The stinkin' cutest little curly-Q'd, ribboned pony tail ever!

Seriously. The cutest.

I anticipated one conflict and talked to every person I could to be sure this wouldn't be an issue. Her coach, a friend and volunteer mom, was a first-time coach and was giving it all she had. I didn't want our issue to be a problem for a volunteer coach, so I was very transparent about it from the beginning and she was gracious. We started the season and a few weeks and several hundred dollars later, it became obvious to us that our issue was going to be one. Still, everyone was gracious as I stood our ground, but they had to do what they had to do and so did we. She cheered two games and we walked away. I wrote a letter to the Board thanking them for their volunteer hours, explaining our position, and apologizing for any extra paperwork they had to do on our account. My 8 year-old wrote a little note, too.

Our issue: Cheer Competitions on Sundays.
To be clear, they weren't every Sunday. Three over the season, if I remember correctly. 

As Christians, this was really a no-brainer to us. We value the local church's place in the Body of Christ. We believe we have a place in the Body. We genuinely enjoy church. But, this isn't even the crux of it.

Who and What my girls worship on Sundays is.

We just couldn't do it. We knew we were not going set the precedence for recreation over Sunday worship. This is, as we celebrate, the Sabbath. The one that is to be kept holy. As in the 4th Commandment. Now, Lord knows we have not kept all the commandments all the time, but this. This we could.
<Note: I'm talking Sundays. Sunday morning worship. Wednesday night church is not a commandment. Smiling. Now, if you have Saturday night church or if your church has Sunday evening services, I don't know. Some would argue that Sunday should still be a day of complete rest. I'm not getting into all that, that's between you and Jesus. > 

Maybe you've seen it:
Parents who sang "Jesus Loves Me" and read Bible stories to their babies. They taught their toddlers that "God is so great, so strong and so mighty, there's nothing my God cannot do." Loving parents took their little ones to Sunday School and choir and Christmas programs. Parents that could see the benefit of team sports and even used that as a way to build relationships in the community and lead people to Christ. Eventually, the athletic tournaments and competitions have become fun, family events and they are all weekend, every weekend for a season or seven. Fantastic, Jesus-loving parents wake up one day and they can't remember the last time they went to church and worshipped as a family with the Body of Believers in which they claim "membership".  Instead, they have worshipped at the altar of a trophy.

Ok. This is a made up scenario, but you get it, right? This is what we wanted to guard against. It's a slippery slope. Yes, I understand we were looking at three Sundays. No, I don't think my salvation or that of my child's would be in jeopardy over three missed Sundays. For us, it came down to teaching her to impact the world as a Christ follower.

Listen. We are at war. We are battling a culture for the hearts of our children. We've got to take this seriously. 

I know you've heard the statistics. Something like upwards of 90% of professed Christians are graduating high school, going away to college and walking away from church, and often, the Lord. They are going to college and living quite hedonistic little lives, leaving their parents devastated and worried. Rightly so.

We aren't hoping for our kids to just "stay in church", I'm raising women who ARE the church. That means equipping them to GO out and be the light. That means they need to know what they believe and act like they believe it.

There is definitely not one answer. But, I do believe this is [one] battle in the Culture War. Keeping the Sabbath holy and making a (loving, favorable) statement to the community may be something you could do to change the culture of sports-worship in your community. 

Highs / Lows

Anybody have highs and lows over the same situation again and again?
Is this just a girl thing? Is this stereotypical girl indecisiveness?
Is it satanic distraction?
Is it just that some decisions are so monumentally life changing we don't know if it is a high or a low?

Bless.

This is where I find myself. Too much.
You can find my highs on Instagram or Twitter.
The lows can be found in one of two places: on this blog (cause I'm committed to being real) or in my silence (cause I just can't even put it into words).

Been separated from my people for right at 11 months now. Been settling in with new people for about 4. Some days that 7 month gap is an inescapable canyon. With a pendulum that swings over the width of the canyon as often as daily.
One day I can be completely settled in to our new little life, sure that God is working on us and through us. He is blessing us with people who love him and who love on us.

I am building a gaggle of 20-somethings that I am looking forward to hosting on Super Bowl Sunday. (It's a Not-Necessarily-a-Super-Bowl-Party. Be jealous.) We are already sharing some life experiences and praying together and there is some relationship building taking place. So Sunday, I plan on luring them in to unabashed love with us through Buffalo Chicken Dip.

We are plugging in to stuff. The Sisters are competing in Bees (Geography and Spelling) and making a good showing, playing tennis, soccer, volleyball, we are plugged in to our homeschool co-op (I'm teaching Bootcamp) and my word, church.
Our church is full of Lovelies. We are making friends and have a little teaching gig right now, so that's grand. We are sitting under fantastic teaching & preaching, so that is priceless. One new homeschool momma friend I made hasn't accepted my invite yet, but tells me she is impressed by how excited I am about my church.  I'll take that as a win that just hasn't happened yet.

See? It's happening. We're doing the thing.

Then...
The next day, or maybe the same day, I am in pain over missing my people. They are going through their own highs and lows and I want to be there with them! Since March 2012, we have gone back to Florida for a funeral and two weddings and missed three funerals. We have missed trips, Christmas, birthdays, breakfasts, complaints about teachers & fellow students, Bible study lightbulb moments, and a lot of barbecue!

We even missed this last night:

I have no words for that fantasticness! 

I love me some college students and these are two of my favorites on the planet!

I have a good friend who right this very second is coveting prayers for her precious 7 year old daughter and trusting Jesus in the most real way a momma can. I'm sick about not being there. Sick.

I mean ugly cry sick. I had a low.
I got a smidge on the bitter side. It went a little like this: I mean, Lord, you said to Go and make disciples! Well guess what? I was making disciples right there in Plant City! I'm not being prideful, but I'm just sayin'! For real. We were teaching and sharing our home and our stuff all Acts-style!

OK, maybe it sounded exactly like that.

Through a study, I'm reading through Paul's 1st letter to the Thessalonian Church right now and I'm telling you, I could have wrote his words! Now, I haven't suffered like Paul, for sure. I do feel his heartache, though. He loved those people. He lived life with them, discipled them and left them. Boom. Listen, there are things that we jack up in this house fairly regularly, but we know how to invest in people. I know how to share in my people's burdens. I call it holy-codependency-without-the-manipulation-part, catchy right?

But, Jesus.
Jesus is King.
He left his people, too.

<Insert pendulum swing here.>

So, this can happen several times a week for me as we transition in to making a home here, complete with new people.

What are your highs and lows?
Job?
Major?
School choice?
Living situation?
Family life?

Here's what I'm choosing. I'm going to be present. Even in my ugly, I'm going to do it here. Jesus was fully present where ever he was walking and I will be, too. I'm going all in: sweet tea, piles of laundry, homeschool shenanigans, messy pantry, unsolicited Spouseisms, a little hilarity and Jesus.

I'm going to stop second-guessing our decision and go with it. It's not that hard to please God. I keep wondering if we did the right thing and you know? With all that we are doing we are loving him so I know he is pleased.

I'm in.
Here.

 As for me, I will always have hope, 
and I will praise you more and more. Psalm 71:14

It's a matter of staying out of my own head and giving Jesus the mic. Anybody?
What truth does he tell you when you give him the mic?

Top 12 of 2012

A blog about blogs that I read suggested that bloggers repost a list of the most read blogs this year. This got me curious.

This was sort of a neat exercise, just to see what types of posts resonate with my people.

It says a lot about you readers, ya know. ;)

Here's the list of the 12 most read Spouseisms posts of 2012.


12.  Door. Closed. This was definitely in the top 3 worst days of 2012. A hard post to write and I didn't even like looking at it again just for this list.

11. Beautiful Singleisms. This is one that I hope readers share with some single folks.

10.  Straight Talk about THE Talk. This one, too. Talk to your kids before anyone else does.

9.  Paradox of Going and Leaving. Tough stuff.

8.  BIG BELIEFS, Little Beliefs. I wrote several of these "Beliefs" posts, but this one was the most read. I know why, too! Cause some of y'all straight up knew that somewhere in this post was the phrase "best sex"! Boom. Boost in readership right there. Just sayin'. I know what y'all are thinking!

7.  Revisitng Spouseisms for the Betrothed. Share them with newly and nearly married couples. Not everyone will agree with all, and that's okay. I still stand by them.

6.  Big C Church & Little c church. Loved this one.

5.  Spouseisms for the Betrothed See #7.

4.  Definition of a Bum. I dig when my Spouse writes.

3.  No Words. Whoa. Jesus showed up.

2.  Might + Should = Might Should Challenge to write for my friend over at Most Illustrious Mother.

1.   House Hunting as a Spaz. Our crazy search for a house was the most read? I don't know if I believe  it. Must be the wanna-be hackers. I had two random realtors post on my page. Gets on my blessed nerves.

So, there they are. Top 12.

Five Minute Friday: Stay.

It's time for another Five Minute Friday!

Here are the rules.

If you have a blog--you should so do it.

It's Five Minutes of pure blog adrenaline.

Five minutes of writing on one topic. Period. No editing. No nothing.

Ready? Set.

Go.

Stay.

Go. Stay. What?

You say "stay" and my first thought is "go". (Maybe 'cause I just typed it?)
Sorry! I'm not arguing, it's just that Jesus said to "Go"!

That doesn't necessarily mean 'go permanently', but I do believe we should go, at some point.

OK, back to stay.

With my girls, I am tempted to say "stay little", but they would disobey.
Stay with American Girls and Nancy Drew and tennis and basketball.
Stay with me.

But, if I do my job, they will hear "Stay." and think "Go!", even if I'm the one to say it.

"Go and make disciples...."

Stop.